Hmmm… interesting.

Went to 1Utama on Friday for an outing with some friends. Funny enough, Roland was having its exhibition in 1U. And funny enough, Esther, Jessica and Japth were murdering time… I mean killing time.. hmm… too morbid. Ok let’s try again.

FRIDAY! 1U! ESTHER, JESSICA, JAPTH! ROLAND EXHIBITION!… then I appeared. Well, actually not really Japth, he was in guitar heaven section. I just browsed around with Est and Jess. Saw a smaller version of the digital piano in percussion piano. Decided to have a little fun. Maybe earn a little cash from people passing by. So I sat down and played some simple contemporary stuff. Trying to explain to Est and Jess that simple stuff can be really cool.

Then came this guy, all dressed up, looking very musician-ish, wanting to past me a flyer. And I thought it was a promoter wanting to convince me to buy the piano. To my surprise he handed me the flyer for Roland Piano Competition and ask me to join. I smiled and said thanks. Cause I was still in the midst of trying to explain something to Est and Jess, erm.. I’ll call them JEst, the abbr. of abbreviation.

And the guy came back again a short while later! He came back to remind me that the competition only allows classical pieces. I was even more surprised. So I nodded and said thanks again. After which he asked if I would join, I replied no. And then he said,:

“Awww, what a waste…”

Erm…. I was a bit shocked by the whole thing. So I didn’t know that this was actually a very flattering situation. A guitarist with keyboard abilities of a sardine, was invited to a prestigious Roland Classical Piano Competition. Didn’t quite sink in, and I’m still a little incredulous. I only began to understand the implications of that situation when SOMEONE said, “…usually when I try out a piano, they’ll come and ask if I would like to sign up for lessons…haha…” She laughed at herself; interesting.

Anyway.. the highlight of the exhibition were these two little beauties:

Well, next came wall climbing. To all the internet addicts out there, wall climbing is not an euphemism for reading people’s facebook wall posts. Anyway, too much happened there. I suppose in a nutshell, I’ve learnt that Esther can be trusted as a belayer; Japth is an awesomely good wall climber; and some of Japth’s friends go by the name of Daniel, Hannah, Danny and Andrew; all of which think SOMEONE is gay. I’m a serial heterosexual, so that SOMEONE is not me. Keep guessing. Oh and I also learnt that belayer is a great word for puns.

Next came Subway. I know, you envy me. Haha… besides the food there were also friends. Interesting friends. Friends who were good listeners. Friends who were on the verge of committing murder, then decided on suicide then was too overwhelmed so they let the new friend continue talking.

Then the group split, and my shoelace got stuck at the escalator, and my safe situation escalated to crisis situation (haha.. pun). By which I am thankful to God for  the Stewed Duck Soup pillar from which I sought refuge from further shame. Although, some faithful friends began looking for me by shouting my name.

A few packets of guitar strings, loosing a bet at Vincci’s (I predicted correctly the event, just not the person involved), a nice long walk, observing SOMEONE try very hard to write her own name at an optical shop, watching SOMEONE write her name with a shaking hand that could barely hold the pen because of wall climbing, another long walk, a few jokes and a goodbye; were some of the other things I did on Friday.

I know this has a lot of inside jokes. For the uninformed, take this as an escapade into randomness and as a lesson about how life is just filled with obscured lunacy and chaos.

I’m a week and a half into the semester already. And found myself in a spot where, everything that I’m doing makes no sense again. It has, I suppose become routine. No, I have become complacent. Ya, that’s right. Busy-ness breeds complacency. Struggles are better than busy-ness.

Anyway, I woke up this morning, waiting on God. I just don’t know whether what I do now, is really “His Kingdom, His righteousness”. When I started semester last week, I knew, but now I don’t. So I tried to be still before Him, and awaited his answer. I knew I was beginning to do things for the sake of doing things already. And I had to get back to the original intention. If faith without deeds is dead. I suppose the reverse is irrelevant. There has to be a RIGHT starting point when doing something. And I’ve lost it.

Then just now as I was on Facebook, as I was going on the rounds of seeing the going-ons of other people’s life. One photo caught my eye. Then another. Then another one. Then photos in my memory began to pop up. And I thought to myself, “Gosh, I miss them… ooo.. I miss you… and you … and you… and you…”

And I felt God saying that I’ve forgotten the important things in life simply because I don’t see them. For whatever the reason maybe (some may have been good ones!), I have removed the important parts from what I do. Dad becomes another word, so does mom, so does family, so does friends, church and even God. Learning becomes another thing altogether, curiosity, work, life, struggles and many many more, all lose their meaning.

I have missed the point of many things. Then at that moment, I saw my Bible. And I realised that God’s Word has become a thing to me. It’s no longer God’s Word. Much like all of us who wants to finish the work, we get side tracked into a meaningless dimension where we become so detached from reality, that we lose sight of the goal.

Sad thing is that many of us, (I admitted am one of the chronic cases) think that dimension we have stepped into is real. The fact of it is, it’s half real. Because we removed the other half. The squishy, sticky, messy part that complicates things. But makes it all real. The purpose of the work: the person(s) we do it for (it can be family, friend, stranger, God or even, yourself! because God’s wants you to enjoy too!).

The first step to recovery, is to admit there’s something wrong. So, I missed you, and you, and you, and you… oo oo oo.. and her …. and her.. and him.. and her.. and him… AGNES!! hahaha…

Oh and there’s one more! He’s the One we always believe He’s always with us, but a lot of times, we take Him for granted… so I miss You too!!

Heard a strange sentence today. “We’re going to visit your brother.” Hmmm… visit? Oh ya, he’s got his own house now.

At his house, I was lying on the sofa, he was playing his newly refurbished piano for all to hear. And I realised something, God has been faithful in providing the strength, the people and the help needed. And today my brother is pretty much settled down.

And I felt grateful that God has answered my prayer. Which is strange, cause I don’t feel positive feelings or feelings that pertain to love, easily. Usually it’s tainted with cynicism and past hurts. But today, I felt a little happy. Happy, that’s something that’s rather unfamiliar.

Something’s changed. I have changed.

Interesting.

ICE CREAM
3:19
fuzzimuzzi

Lyrics:

You said I said that she said
He said that I said that everybody says

you dreamt that I dreamt that she dreamt
that he dreamt, a dream that, caused him to scream

Oh we shouldn’t panic now
Or we’ll seem like silly clowns
Then again, what fun it’ll be
if everybody starts to scream

I scream you scream
everybody scream
You scream and I’ll scream
everybody scream

I scream you scream
everybody screams
You scream and I’ll scream
everybody screams