Archive for June, 2008

Welcome to Transitional Living

Friday, June 27th, 2008

I’m leaving today. My mind and my heart is all over the place. I’ll say only what is necessary.

After almost 7 years in yf, the biggest lesson that I have learnt and still am learning is to choose God no matter what. You may not realise the implication of such a frame of mind. I hope you will one day. To thel family in yf, keep choosing Jesus.

I would love to stay. But I must leave in order to love you. Yes, because in my life, God is moving to somewhere else. If I do not follow, I will not be the blessing I’m meant to be. If I am not a blessing. Then, I would be a curse. God forbid. Therefore I bid you farewell.

God has been faithful and extremely gracious in the manner He has allowed me to tie up all the loose ends in Kluang. Now I can leave with peace. Nothing left hanging.

May God be ever more extravagant with the plans He has for your life. I hope that this would be true today and forever:

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to live out a dream.

p.s. I’ll not be blogging for at least two weeks cause I’ll be lappy-less.

Alright…

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

Moments shared in unnamed dialogues.

.:part one:.

“You ready to leave?”

“Ya, there’s nothing left for me here anymore.”

“Don’t say that…”

.:part two:.

“Strange isn’t it? The same way I entered that person’s life is the same way I exit.”

.:part three:.

“But you must remember to come back!”

“Come back?”

.:part four:.

“Oh how I’m going to miss them…”

.:part five:.

“Your time is up. You have out stayed My grace.”

.:part six:.

“I stand in awe of God’s ever complex and extravagant plan in your life. It’s been a pleasure, privilege and honour to serve you. I apologise for all my short-comings. Some of which have hurt you very much. I deeply regret it. As parting advice, perhaps, dear brethren, it’s time to betray our understanding by kissing it goodbye just as Judas did Jesus. Betray that which is futile, that we may truly trust the Lord with all our hearts. Unreservedly surrendered (proverbs 3:5). Glory to God who keeps you.”

.:part *seven:.

“…                                    …”

*for all things unspoken

Reflections of God 2

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

“If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” John 14:15 ~ GOD’S WORD® translation

I have always wondered why God wants us to love Him by obeying His laws. Why commands? Isn’t it fake when a person tells some one: “You want to love me? Then don’t go disco anymore.” Sure, there are good intentions behind the laws. But isn’t the person controlling his/her lover. We all know that once there is an element of force in a relationship, there is no longer love. Why can’t we just harness our own gifts and give it back to the Lord. I’m sure God understands that our efforts to please Him in our own ways. Why set a standard by law?

But here’s something interesting, Jesus says:

“Let there be no thought that I have come to put an end to the law or the prophets. I have not come for destruction, but to make complete.” Matthew 5:17 ~ Bible in Basic English

What does it mean? I cannot understand this immense concept directly, I need to look at a reference. A reflection. I need to look at humans. Because we are made in His image.

Here’s an excerpt from Eric Ludy’s book – God’s Gift To Women:

“First, almost every bride-to-be has predetermined the amount of physical or even emotional intimacy she feels comfortable engaging in prior to her wedding day. She may never verbalize that boundary line to you, but it is important for a man to figure out, because it is sacred to her. In the heat of passion, she may temporarily push her boundary aside, but afterwards she will always regret that it wasn’t kept sacred.” - Rich(Eric’s father-in-law) to Eric

Just as God has His own desires that He wants man to champion and defend, so a woman has boundaries that she wants her man to champion and defend.

God indirectly told us what He wanted through the Law. Did He like to see people being circumcised? Did He delight in restricting the diet of man? No. All He’s saying is, “Love Me with everything you have.” (paraphrase of Luke 10:27)

You see when you love a girl, it doesn’t matter if you love aeroplanes when she doesn’t. You can fly to her house and write in the sky, “I love you” just for her. But she wouldn’t understand what you’re trying to do. Because you have missed her heart. The logical thing has always been to find out what she likes, then give that to her. Makes sense right? Same thing with God, but on a much deeper scale. Beyond knowing His law, you have to do it with a glad heart. Jesus completed the law by being on earth. He became the ultimate reference point. A way to relate to God the Father because Jesus was fully man also. Now not only do we know a bunch of do’s and don’ts, we also know how to relate it to loving God because we can “see” (relate to) Jesus and how it impacts God.

Is it about the chocolates, the flowers and the love letters? No. They are important. But they are not the things that a woman requires. A woman’s only desire from a man is that he love her. What better way than to know her and to do her requests with a glad heart. Her requests maybe as simple as stop hunching or stop digging your nose.

Is it about being righteous, being holy and being a good example? No. They are important. But they are not the things that God requires. God’s only desire from man is that we love Him. What better way than to know Him and to do His commands (requests) with a glad heart. His requests maybe as simple as honour your parents or smile.

Goodbye?

Saturday, June 21st, 2008

I’m in the process of saying my “farewells” this week.

The more people I say good bye to… the more I realise that I do care for them. I would love to stay and have the privilege to be in their lives. But my time here is up. My God is moving some where else and He is calling me along.

To me, getting Bachelor of Music (Performance Music) is like Abram being told to go to a place God will show him.

It’s not easy for me to leave or is it easy for me to stay.

To everyone, I’m sorry for my failures. I’m thankful for you. I have to go soon. But I’m sure if not on this earth, then see you in Heaven. May the good Lord keep you and release His immensity upon you. Thank you.

Personal Quotes

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

6/11/06 Cheng Yee – originally from here

“As long as there is still one more breath in me…I will try to Christ.”

9/6/07 Cheng Yee – originally from here

“…the ugliness of others have revealed my true heart which was much more wicked.”

27/6/07 Cheng Yee – originally from here

“I’m aiming for a 90 movie when I die. Not multi-season serial drama show that comes in a set of 16 DVDs and another 32 “the making of” DVDs. If you get what I mean. Simply put, when I die and my life flashes before me, let’s keep the playback short and sweet. Drama-mamas you’re fired.”

24/2/08 Cheng Yee – originally from here

“There is only a day that comes in pairs: 2day. We are blessed with much more than we think.”

8/9/08 Cheng Yee – originally from here

“Do you love to be loved or do you love to be loved?”

“Some people love for the love that they’ll get in return, some people love purely because they love.”

“…it’s not the chase that’s the problem. It’s whether a person is ready to catch.”

16/9/08 Cheng Yee – originally from here

“I am empty when I ignore.
I am broken when I acknowledge.
…although I’m sad, I have no right to make others feel sad.”

12/6/08 Cheng Yee – an excerpt from Cheng Yee’s personal journal

“If all the sand on the beach came from one boulder,
my heart was that boulder.
Now the waves come crashing in,
trying to wash me away.”

13/6/08 Cheng Yee – said while sharing with a friend

“God has taken away so much from me that I don’t even bother to ask Him to allow me to keep what’s left. I just pray that He’ll take it all.”

19/6/08 Cheng Yee – a thought

“The objective of chastening is to love. The object of chastening is me. The objection towards chastening is foolishness.”

How much is enough?

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

I checked my university application status today.

I got Bachelor of Music (Performance Music).

I’ve prayed that if God will choose for me. All things considered, I messed up the interview, I have no musical qualification and it’s obvious that the lecturers would be doing me a favour if they declined me and hand me over to engineering.

Still, despite the odds, I’m offered that course. A moral dilemma occurs, how outrageous must a miracle be before it is safe to believe that it is a miracle?

Despite years of being told to dream big and to fear nothing except the fear of being lazy, I find that I am still afraid to take on the consequences of dreaming big.

Am I dreaming? Is this the right dream?

Desiderio Domini (I long to be with the Lord)

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

Desiderio Domini (I long to be with the Lord)
Song by: Cheng Yee
04:10

I repent, in ashes and dust
I confess, the pride in my heart
I put aside, all of me
strip away understanding from me
I trust in You
I long for You

Desiderio Domini
How dearly, I long to be
With You Lord, at Your feet
Desiderio Domini

No complaints, about all the pain
I don’t care, how much it takes
I will cry, until I die
A prayer of desperation to You
I ache for You
I long for You

When pain is better…

Monday, June 16th, 2008

“The book describes his transformation from an affluent advertising executive born into privilege to a 64-year-old divorcee living in an attic apartment and commuting by subway to his job at Starbucks. In the end, I found him much more likeable as a barista.” - by Sandyblogmore

I came across this review about the book How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gates Gill. I haven’t read the book. But I found it interesting that Sandy found an old barista, who is in the comparably worse part of his life reaping from his mistakes, to be more likeable. Shoulder to shoulder, Michael Gates Gill the executive/high achiever should have been more popular and likeable. No?

Truth be told, perhaps it is better for a man to be allowed to tear himself apart by the superficial things of this world. Then maybe, by some miracle, by the his horrendous decisions, he may end up being poor in everything desirable yet rich in everything meaningful.

“…turn this man over to Satan for the destruction of his body, so that his spirit may be saved on the Day of the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 5:5

What is worse than going through that process of refining, is having to watch others go through it and know that I am not allowed to help anymore.

Perhaps out of pain, something more beautiful will emerge. By faith, I hope.

The Adventures of Bob and Pit – ep#8 The Machine ~ part 1

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Freddy fumed and fumed. He was jealous. Jealous that he wasn’t smart enough to conjure up plans the way Pit did. But Freddy was good with all things conventional.

Freddy, Pit’s neighbour used shaving cream to prevent his mirror from fogging. Pit on the hand attached windscreen wipers to his mirror instead. Who got the most publicity? Take a guess. Although Pit received more attention, it wasn’t because he was brilliant. It was because he often lived on the edge of coincidences and insanity. Still, Freddy wanted to be like him.

“I know what I’ll do,” mumbled Freddy to himself, “I’ll steal that humongous machine he has in is backyard and then I’ll be famous!”

When the clock tower struck two o’clock that night, Freddy sneaked into Pit’s backyard and dismantled the machine, brought every part to his backyard and built it back. Of course, in the dead of night, Freddy could barely see.

“Now how am I suppose to camouflage this thing,” thought Freddy, “I know, I’ll ask Pit.”

“Hello…?” said Pit in a groggy voice.

“Excuse me Pit, I want to camouflage something. Any ideas?” said Freddy

“Think superman,” with that Pit hanged up the phone on the clothes line. What a way to go on line.

Freddy pondered for a while the meaning of Pit’s words. Then, it occurred to him that superman and his everyday self were only separated by a pair of camouflage glasses. Freddy rushed into the kitchen took two glasses, filled it with water and placed it on the machine.

“There! No one would notice!” exclaimed Freddy proudly.

Little did Freddy know that Pit had horrendous memory for all things uncommon. Pit never noticed the missing machine in the backyard let alone noticed the machine in Freddy’s backyard. So Freddy went about his business trying to exploit Pit’s machine.

Freddy tinkered and tankered, hammered and dented, polished and waxed. He tried every conceivable idea as to how to get the machine to start. It wasn’t until well into the evening that he noticed the a slot for three AA batteries. He rushed over to Mr. Grocer, being a cheapskate he bought only two AAA batteries.

“It’s the same,” thought over-thrifty Freddy, “Same number of A’s.”

By the time Freddy had put in the batteries, it was already eight o’clock at night; well past his dinner time. Not knowing what button was for what, Freddy pressed everything and stood back.

…to be continued…

Please Wash My Car

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

God demands more than just service. He demands our very being. A state of total unreserved surrender.

At first, I have given Him the keys to my house, car and everything else. But everything was still registered under my name. God reminded me in a way only He knows that I have been cheating Him. So I went to change the ownership to Jesus and passed the legal documents over to God.

I miss my… erm… His car. But I must break free and totally depend on the Lord. Yet God knows the desire of our hearts.

Today, He told me to wash His car. It was ecstasy. It is so awkward to have driven the car before and having been painfully separated from it and told to move on, God’s grace permitted me to do what I desired in a way totally unimaginable and wonderful for me to describe. I never thought that washing that car would bring any satisfaction. But I am overwhelmed.

After washing the car, I thanked the Lord for the opportunity and walked away. No, I do not hope in getting the car back. For my hope lies in the Lord. He will personally pen each chapter of my life.

As C. S. Lewis wrote in the Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle,

“…now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever and in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

p.s. the objects in this post are metaphoric representations of different areas of my life.