This year’s Christmas is the best so far in my entire life.

NO, my house does not have a Christmas tree or gifts piled up in one corner. We have no Christmas lights or Christmas food. So what made it the best?

I had the opportunity to do 3 of my favourite things, spend time with loved ones, worship God and eat! Haha… it started from caroling and it’s yet to stop…haha…

One of the things that turned 180 degrees this year was the way I felt when I read Christmas cards. I used to love them…I still do… but it doesn’t seem the same anymore… Cards are usually filled with praises and encouragement that really makes my head expand…and I’d be all happy and proud… haha… I confess… all glory to God…

The cards are still filled with praises and encouragement…but this time round, instead of feeling :”That’s right, I did that. Thank God I’m apreciatted”…repent… repent… repent… hahah… I’m feeling :”Oh no, I don’t deserve this. I didn’t really do what I he/she thinks I did.” I was near tears as I read the cards/bookmarks and that almost caused a glitter disaster.

I don’t know… I just don’t think I’m as good as what they say I am… I feel that truly it’s God’s grace that made it all happened in the way they perceived it…

But I am glad about this. Not because I’m being flattered. But for the first time in many years, I am able to sincerely say, :”Glory to God.” instead of puffing up with pride in my heart. God has freed me to appreciate grace and be able to give praise as it should be given.

For such a thing, I am glad and thankful. It may be low self-esteem. But at least it’s high God-esteem. =D

Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year!

Went to camp with 2 things in my heart. One was to seek direction as to what course should I take for uni. I don’t want to get stuck in a course that isn’t God’s choice. Second was to see my friends have an encounter with God.

God thought me to relax and trust Him. I know He’s been trying to teach me that for the last 2 years. But I guess I just haven’t got a hang of it. But God is gracious. He reminded that salvation is His. So I didn’t have to “save” my friends. I just had to do my part. He also reminded me take things step by step and to be obedient. Was reminded to take this “calm before the storm” period to study His Word. (I’ve just finished STPM and ‘waiting’ for results.)

He also showed me a flaw in my belief. I always thought that God would tell me what’s next. He will, just not in the way I would want Him to. His word is a lamp unto my feet. I was thinking of flood lights kinda lamps where I can see all within  a range of 50 meters. Well, God doesn’t always work like that. More often He gives us just enough light for us to be able to carefully take the next step. And one more thing, unless we take the next step, we won’t move forward, the lamp that shows the way won’t move forward, and we won’t be able to see what’s next. So that’s faith, trusting that God will light the way even though we can’t see what’s in front of us.

So I’m living each day. Trying hard to trust and believe and let God do what He wants to do how He wants to do it. Because He knows best. Honestly, though sometimes I doubt, but God has been faithful. I can’t wait to see what He has installed for me.

Nothing extraordinary, but no less miraculous. That is God’s grace.